A Saumensch and a Saukerl
by CookiesAreTheKey
Summary: A small collection of my favourite Rudy/Liesel moments, but with their roles reversed. There's no reason for this other than I wanted to. Pairing: Rudy/Liesel. Rating: K . Enjoy :)


**So, if you've seen my profile, you'll know that I am obsessed with the Rudy/Liesel pairing from The Book Thief.**

**Anyway, the other day I was just reading the book again and I just thought:**

**But what if Rudy was the book thief and Liesel was that annoying/epic girl next door?**

**So, here are my favourite Rudy and Liesel moments, with their roles reversed.**

**Just 'cause.**

**No flames please!**

* * *

Liesel was one of those girls who absolutely refused to fear the opposite sex.

Mostly because every other little girl she knew got very flustered when they were around boys and she was quite determined not to be like them.

Just for the sake of being different.

But when she first glanced over at the little black car rolling onto Himmel Street and saw a boy whose hair resembled lemons with eyes of the deepest blue, her stomach did a funny flip-flop and her heart fluttered.

The boy did not look at her as his eyes were glued to the front cover of the little black book he had clutched in his gloved hands.

Liesel stared at the boy, her heart pounding so furiously that she was sure it was trying to burst out of her chest.

The boy disappeared into number thirty-three with Hans and Rosa Hubermann after a few minutes of his new foster parents trying to coax him out of the car and Liesel decided then and there that that boy would be her first kiss.

Whether he liked it or not.

* * *

"Hundred metres," grinned Liesel lazily as she pulled Rudy towards the race track in Hubert Oval. "I'm the fastest girl in our year. Bet you can't beat me."

Rudy was having none of it.

"I bet I can," he said, glaring at her.

"What d'ya plan on betting, _Saukerl_? You haven't got any money, have you?" asked Liesel, brushing some of her blonde corkscrew curls out of her eyes.

"Course not," replied Rudy.

"Fine then. If I win-" began Liesel, but Rudy cut her off.

"Which you won't," he smirked.

"Whatever. If I win, you have to kiss me," she told him, a mischievous look on her face.

"What do you want to kiss me for?" asked Rudy, scrunching his eyebrows together.

Liesel shrugged.

"You in?" she asked.

"Sure, _Saumensch,_" answered Rudy.

Liesel grinned.

She was going to get a kiss.

The ten year old girl grabbed a rock off the muddy track and launched it up into the air as a starting pistol.

The two shot off.

Rudy was actually quite impressed at his opponent's speed, as was Liesel, for that matter.

"Jesus, Mary and Joseph!" shrieked Liesel as mud splashed up her weedy legs. "I'm covered in shit!"

Rudy burst out laughing just as he skidded on an especially muddy part of the track, slipped and grabbed Liesel's arm, dragging her down with him.

* * *

"_Dummkopf_!" laughed Ludwig Schmeikl, pointing at Rudy. "Can you spell that for me?"

Rudy scowled at the older boy, his fists clenched at his sides.

"Come _on_, Rudy," said Liesel, grabbing her friend's arm and attempting to pull him away from the idiot boys that were taunting him.

"Can you spell-"

Ludwig was cut off when Rudy let out a shout of rage, wrenched his arm out of Liesel's surprisingly strong grasp and launched himself at him.

Rudy shoved Ludwig to the ground, sat on his stomach and walloped him across the cheek, hard.

The boy slapped and punched and kneed Ludwig all over his body, screaming and yelling at him the whole time.

By this point, most of the children on the school playground had gathered to watch and were yelling encouragement at Rudy and insults at Ludwig.

Liesel stood and stared at the two boys on the floor in amazement.

She felt quite proud of Rudy for beating up that _Arschloch._

* * *

***from the movie* *also, genderbent Max. 'Cause why not?***

"So, how's Liesel?" asked Maxine, brushing some of her feathery black hair out of her eyes.

Rudy looked up from his book.

"I don't know," he replied after a moment. "Liesel's a pain in the neck."

"Ah," grinned Maxine. "The only thing worse than a girl you hate is a girl you like, right?"

Rudy glared at her as she went back to her own book.

He certainly did not like Liesel.

And even if he did, he would never tell anyone.

* * *

***also from the movie***

"Who's Maxine?" demanded Liesel, pulling Rudy's beloved book from her satchel.

Rudy glanced at the book and his stomach sank to his boots.

"Give me that, _Saumensch_!" he hissed, but Liesel held it behind her back and out of his reach.

"Is she... your girlfriend?" she asked, her heart aching at the thought of her glorious next door neighbour, her _Saukerl _having a girl other than her in his life.

"No!" cried Rudy. "She's-"

"Are you hiding someone?" asked Liesel in a small voice, handing Rudy back his book.

Rudy remained silent.

"One spit: yes, two spits: no," muttered Liesel.

Rudy spat into the Amper River once.

* * *

Rudy's book floated down the river.

"Well, come on!" cried Liesel, hurrying down the bank and launching herself into the frigid water.

"Liesel!" yelled Rudy as he watched his best friend disappear into the water.

When she did not immediately resurface, Rudy began to panic.

"Liesel!" he shouted, his heart pounding furiously.

A moment later, Liesel broke the surface of the water, a book clutched in her hand and a triumphant smile on her face.

"Can I have that kiss now, _Saukerl_?" she grinned, wading out of the water and handing Rudy his book.

"_Dummkopf!_" hissed Rudy, glowering at her. "You scared me to death!"

"Aha!" cried Liesel, running her fingers through her soaking wet hair as Rudy pulled his jacket off and placed it around her shoulders. "The boy with lemon hair _does _care for his _Saumensch_!"

"Oh, shut up."

* * *

"So," smirked Liesel as she stepped out of the changing room in her father's shop, wearing a dark blue blazer and a matching pencil skirt. "What d'ya think?"

Rudy grinned at her.

"The shoes let you down," he chuckled, pointing at her black shoes that were caked in mud. "And the face."

"You little-" grinned Liesel, starting towards him but slipping on the disembodied arm of a mannequin and landing on her back. "Ouch."

"Are you alright?" asked Rudy, dropping to his knees at her side and trying to contain his laughter.

"Yeah," Liesel smiled sadly, looking up into his eyes. "I miss my dad though. I want him home, Rudy."

"I know, Liesel."

Kiss her, Rudy. Kiss her.

"Merry Christmas, book thief," whispered Liesel.

"Merry Christmas."

* * *

Rudy stumbled to his feet and looked away from his Mama and Papa.

He could no longer look at their lifeless faces.

It hurt too much.

As he staggered around the wreckage that was once Hinmel Street, he saw an image that would haunt his dreams for the rest of his life.

He saw two men carrying a fourteen year old girl with corkscrew curls out of the rubble.

The worst thing about the image?

The girl was Liesel.

The girl was his _Saumensch._

The girl was his best friend.

The girl was the girl with the obvious crush on him.

The girl was the girl he had a not-so-obvious crush on.

"Liesel," he breathed as he stumbled over to her. "No, Liesel."

He dropped to his knees beside her, lifted up her head slightly and placed it in his dust-covered lap.

"Come on, _Saumensch_," Rudy muttered, tapping her cheek.

"_Saukerl_," coughed Liesel. "Rudy."

"Don't speak," said Rudy. "You'll be-"

"I have to tell you," choked Liesel. "I lo- I lov-"

Liesel went limp.

"Liesel? Liesel, _nein. _Liesel! Wake up! Liesel! I love you!" cried Rudy, shaking her shoulders gently. "Liesel, kiss me!"

Rudy bent down and pressed his lips to hers.

Her lips were sweet and soft, just like he had imagined they would be.

But they were also bomb-kissed.

* * *

**So, what did you think?**

**To be honest, it wasn't supposed to be much of anything.**

**Don't take it too seriously :)**

**Please review!**

**And, again, no flames!**


End file.
